Tim O'Brien Article 1

I was asked to write an article about my life growing up in diving as well as my thoughts on other aspects of the sport. As the son of an eight-time Olympic Coach and a former diver and coach myself, I've had a pretty good seat to enjoy the most incredible ride and to be around some truly amazing people. It is very difficult to condense over forty years of experiences and wonderful people into a brief article but my hope is that my words might help others who are on their own journey today to enjoy it even more and to keep focused on the important stuff. After my retirement from coaching in 2006, I was able to step back from the day to day responsibilities of coaching and running a program, as well as the politics and drama that sometimes surround our sport, and see things from the outside. It really helped me to appreciate what diving means to me. It is such a unique and special family.

My sister, Anne and I, with Hall of Fame and Ohio State Coach,
Mike Peppe, at the International Swimming Hall of Fame Pool, 1966

This story is not about me, it is about the people who I grew close to during the 43 years I spent in diving and the things that I took from this most incredible journey. In my opinion, the people, the experiences, the travels and the memories are far more important than anything I ever accomplished in sports. The years have passed and the medals and the trophies have found their way into boxes and the lasting and most valuable memories are the people; the journey. The people who I shared it with, the memories we created and the lessons I learned in sports, have, and will always remain with me forever.

I consider myself to be a very lucky man. Much of that can be attributed to having great parents but it is equally a result of having been raised in the sport of diving and the people that are a part of it. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to win an Olympic medal for my Dad because he never got his own. He just missed the 1960 Olympic Team, placing third at a time when they only took two divers on each board. I loved other sports, especially baseball, but I became a diver and followed my dad everywhere. I never won that Olympic medal, but what he provided for me was far more valuable. My life was spent in and around diving pools all over the country. When I was born in 1963, my Dad was the diving coach at the University of Minnesota and touring around the United States with a trailer full of trampolines and mini-boards doing diving shows with Dick Kimball. Basically, in my early years, I shared a crib with Bruce Kimball, Dick's son and Olympic Silver Medalist in 1984. He remains one of my closest friends today. Only in the sport of diving could the two sons of the coach at Ohio State and Michigan grow up together, become best friends, and be the best man in each other's wedding. There is no greater rivalry in sports than the one that exists between the Buckeyes and Wolverines but Bruce and I had a common ground as sons of Olympic Coaches and we found a lifetime bond and friendship as a result. That in itself is a tribute to our sport and how something we love so much transcends any rivalries or boundaries.

I lived in Minneapolis all of thirteen days in 1963 when my Dad took the coaching job at Ohio State University and realized his dream of returning to his alma mater to coach the Buckeyes. I followed him everywhere and I can still recall that chlorine smell from the old Ohio State pool. It is one of my fondest memories. I also have wonderful memories of watching my father's divers all those years and of Saturdays spent watching Ohio State Football. In Columbus, time in our household was measured in increments of four years and in Olympiads. I have great memories of growing up around the greats of diving. Our house was always swarming with the elite of diving in the United States and the world and more Olympic medalists slept in my trundle bed than I can even remember…….Amongst my favorites were Micki King, Cynthia Potter, Janet Ely and Jennifer Chandler.

My closest friends today are the guys I used to compete with and against since I was 10 years old and many people I still know and love in diving I have known all my life. I am also blessed to have had a front row seat during the dominance of USA diving in the 60's, 70's and 80's and to have witnessed firsthand the amazing coaching careers of some of the greats in our country, in particular, Hobie Billingsley, Dick Kimball and my Dad.

Two of the things I remember about the three of them was they each had their own approach and style to coaching and to people and for each of them, it worked. They were each masters of their craft and really knew so much about the intricacies of diving because they each dove in an era where they had to constantly find new and better ways to do things. The other thing was that while they may have been competitors in the coaching arena, they respected each other and it showed. They sometimes agreed to disagree but it never became personal. They just loved our sport and there was that underlying understanding of that fact and now, years later, they are friends and maintain that respect. It was a nice lesson to learn and an honor to have watched them in the heat of battle only to shake hands, as gentlemen, and then come back and do it again another day.

My first heroes were Ohio State divers like Mike Finneran, Tim Moore and Kent Vosler. In the past couple of years I've gotten to watch and judge, Sean Moore, Tim's son, and it has reminded me how time passes so quickly and it made me feel a bit old too. It is also a reminder of how the love we feel for this sport is passed down from generation to generation. I also got to watch the other Champions of that era from other teams and countries so I learned to appreciate different approaches and styles of coaching and diving as well as other cultures. I loved watching them all and trying to copy their styles. Every year we would make the trek to Fort Lauderdale for the International Meet held there. Back then it was held around Christmas time so we would strap a Christmas tree on top of our station wagon and drive straight through from Columbus. As a result, I spent a lot of time getting a chance to rub elbows with all the divers from other countries like the legendary Klaus Dibiasi and Giorgio Cognoto of Italy, Carlos Giron of Mexico and all my Aussie friends. Steve Foley, USAD's new High Performance Director, used to have a bedroom in our house when he would come to train with us in Mission Viejo years later. Diving is just a family, no matter the country; we all speak the same language.

I also loved the Russian team back then and became very close with Vladimir Aleynik, Alexander Kosenkov, Sergei Nemsanov and others. I remember how the Russians loved to come to the United States back in the 70's for the Fort Lauderdale meet because they could buy Levi jeans, records and all the things we took for granted. I got a very early glimpse of how lucky I was to not only have the things that I had but to live in this country. The KGB would follow those divers around all day and freedom was just not part of their lives. The pride that I have today as an American was instilled in me when I was very young not only because I got to see a lot of American flags raised at the Olympic Games, but because I got be around others from around the world and see what respect and admiration they had for the American way of life. Other than the birth of my son, I have never felt prouder than the times I was wearing my USA gear and representing the United States of America. I know I am not alone in that feeling. Words just can't describe that level of pride……..to be an American and the feeling of representing your country, no matter which one it is.

I also got to see some great performance like Phil Boggs and Jennifer Chandler winning Gold in the 1976 Montreal Olympics and I got to see, in person all four Gold Medal performances of Greg Louganis. I vividly remember Phil Boggs prior to the 3 meter event in Montreal when I was just 13. He had such confidence and he knew he was going to win that event. He knew it; flat out. That sparkle in his eye and belief in himself is something I will never forget. Years later, Phil was diagnosed with cancer and died shortly thereafter. He was a special person and diver. Things like that, within our little family, have a way of kicking you in the gut and reminding you just how lucky we all are to be in this great sport and to have each other. Something we sometimes forget in the heat of battle.

Without a doubt, my best friend and favorite diver to watch was Bruce Kimball. We shared a lifetime of experiences together and his determination and fierce competitive nature were unmatched. I wish every young diver today could have seen him dive. He was a machine; precise and perfect. Bruce went through a lot; being nearly killed by a drunk driver in 1981 in Ann Arbor and then coming back to top form and winning the Silver medal behind Louganis in the 1984 Olympic Games. Four years later, Bruce was behind the wheel of a car when he killed 2 young men in Brandon, Florida on August 1st, 1988 and was charged with DUI manslaughter. I know where I was when I got the phone call and I dropped to the floor because I knew my best friend was in a world of hurt and in a world of trouble. It was all over the news and the front page of every paper. I also knew that it could have been me behind that wheel and to this day, I don't ever forget that. Bruce would dive in the 1988 Olympic Trials two weeks later and many people criticized him for that because they said it was disrespectful to the victims and that he has no right to do it. The truth is that diving was Bruce's only outlet at that time in his life. It was all he knew; it was his home and his family in a time of tremendous pain and anguish. The thought of those days still brings tears to my eyes because there was nothing any of us could do. Bruce ached for those boys and for what he did but no one except those close to him saw or felt that.

Diving helped him to survive his darkest days and we stood by him. He didn't make the Olympic Team but he showed so much to those close to him. The media attacked him and people heckled him at the Olympic Trials but Bruce has the most loving heart. He is human and made a mistake but people are sometimes quick to judge and point fingers and to hate. That experience taught me that the media and people are sometimes cruel and misinformed and that what we hear from third parties is not always the truth. I learned to try to see things from everyone's point of view and in this instance, everyone was hurting and in pain. My best friend included. Bruce would be convicted during his trial in which he changed his plea to guilty so that the families of the victims would not have to undergo the torment of a drawn out and gory trial. He was sentenced to 17 years in the maximum security Florida prison system. There he entered into an AA program and would get clean and sober in the most horrific environment you can imagine. He learned that determination and focus in our sport and it would save his life as he changed his way of living. I would visit him on weekends and we would sit in the courtyard and eat tuna fish and all the junk food we could buy from the prison canteen. I was scared just being in there, I can't imagine what he was going through. He would be released after 5 years in maximum security prison in the State of Florida and then go to a halfway house in Miami where he continued his rehabilitation and would work part-time. Bruce got sober in prison and turned his life around and there is no single thing I have ever seen that I admire more than that because I knew what led up to that and how hard it was for him to put it all down. He has been clean and sober now for 21 years and is a living example of the strength of the human spirit. He has a great wife, three kids and a beautiful life. This is the first time I have written of this story and my words could not do it justice. I tell this story because I want the young athletes out there to understand that this type of thing can happen to anyone-it happened to my best friend. He went to prison for five years because he got behind the wheel of a car after drinking and killed two people. It affected many, many lives and it changed all of us forever. I hope the young kids will think about him when they have to make choices like those. Years later, my feeling is that, through diving, Bruce was able to learn tunnel vision- an uncanny ability to focus entirely on the task at hand and to set goals that are reached in slow, steady increments- one day at a time. His training helped develop these very valuable skills and it was these same skills that he would later use to change his life in the midst of unimaginable pain and anguish; behind bars in a maximum security prison. He is an amazing human being and remains my dearest friend.

To this day, I still consider Greg Louganis to have been the greatest diver I have ever seen. Sure, the Chinese and other countries have produced some amazing divers, but Greg had the mixture of power, beauty and the grace that was just special. He was a once in a lifetime phenomenon. He was the only diver I ever saw where someone who had never seen diving could walk into a pool and see him and know that he was special because he made it look so easy. He had elegance and rhythm to his diving that was and is head and shoulders above anyone before or since. No one had what he had. Not only did he have this God-given ability but also he had the heart of a lion. Time and time again, he could dig deep and do the dive that needed to be done at a clutch moment; the sign of a true champion. He was also the first guy to start doing the really hard dives and he set the bar for everyone else. His performance in the Seoul Olympics in 1988 was probably the single greatest athletic achievement I have ever seen. He hit his head on the board on a reverse two and a half pike in the prelims, then gets stitches in his head between rounds and then comes back up 20 minutes later to do a reverse three and a half twister; another reverse take-off! He went on to make the finals and win the Gold medal. A few days later he would win his fourth Gold medal on platform and make history. There was a lot going on behind the scenes back then, and Greg overcame it all and showed what a true champion he was. I was 25 and sat in the stands to watch him do it, all the while knowing what he and my Dad were facing behind the scenes. What a blessing and a memory.

Ironically, it was Greg who taught me more about life than about diving. In my early years, I used to be jealous of Greg because I wanted to be my father's star. I was just immature at the time but through the experience, I learned a lot about myself as a person and I grew to love Greg like a brother. He is a part of our family today. There were times years later that we would talk about all of that stuff that transpired in the early to mid-1980's. I told Greg that I was jealous of him because I wanted to be the Olympic Champion and he looked at me and said, "hey, that's funny, I was always jealous of you because you had the father and the family that I always wanted to have." Funny how things work sometimes. A lot of people back then were homophobic and said some nasty things behind Greg's back; me included. The truth is that I learned, through Greg and that experience, to look past all of that and see the heart of a person and to love them no matter their sexual orientation. I had a lot of growing up to do back then and Greg helped me get there. He is one of the kindest men I know and I have never heard him utter a negative thing about another human being, ever. I was so lucky to have seen what he did all those years. Even just in practice, he was amazing, and he worked very hard for those gold medals. No one sees what happens in the four years in between or behind the scenes. When I talk to people in my travels and his name comes up, I tell them what a kind man he is because I want them to know that about him. You don't get to experience the human side of it by just watching him on television. I always say he is a far better man than he was a diver. I think that says it all.

My story would not be complete without speaking about Wendy Wyland. Wendy left her home in Rochester, New York in 1979 when she was just fourteen to go all the way across the country to dive with my Dad in Mission Viejo, California. She was not the most talented athlete but no one would outwork her and no one had more desire or will than her. She was not extremely quick or graceful and her toe point was not the best but she wanted it more than anyone else. Her desire was unmatched.
At her first U.S. Nationals in 1980 she placed 31st on 1 meter, 24th on 3 meter and l0th on platform. But she was not discouraged and within a year, she won her first national platform title and repeated it again in 1982. It prepared her for the 1982 World Championships where she won the gold medal in the 10m platform, surprising the world as the young newcomer. The next year at the 1983 Pan American Games, Wendy again won the platform gold medal and also took the silver in the 3m springboard behind Hall of Fame diver Kelly McCormick. In Los Angeles at the 1984 Games, Wendy won the bronze medal behind Hall of Famers Zhou Jihong of China (gold) and Michele Mitchell of the U.S.A. (silver). Wendy was a special girl and had something very special inside of her; the heart of a champion. She reminded us all that heart, determination, hard work and desire were simply more valuable than talent. She consistently out-competed, out-worked and out-willed her competition. She was special. On September 27th, 2003, at the age of 38, she died in her sleep. I got the call from her first coach, Betty Perkins, while I was in the Florida Keys on vacation. I had to call my Mom and Dad in Australia to tell them. I knew it would break their hearts and it did. To this day, I am often reminded of her smile and her love of life. She left an impression on everyone who knew her. The lesson she left with me and others is that no matter your ability or your limitations, what matters most is what is in your heart. What matters is your desire and to what lengths you are willing to go to get what you want. Simply put, will trumps talent. Wendy lived that. I was better for having known her. We all were.

The truth is I didn't fully appreciate what diving meant to me until I retired from coaching in 2006 and went into private business. I miss my divers and my close friends in coaching very much. The coaches I had the honor of coaching with at the 2000 Sydney Olympics were not only some of my best friends, but men I will have a bond with for life because of that experience. Diving is truly a very unique sport and the family that encompasses it, is so special. The lessons we learn in sports and the people who touch us stay with us forever. In my years thirty-three years of competing and then coaching, I don't really remember specific awards or accomplishment, trophies or medals. I remember the people, the friends who I love dearly. I remember the cities and pools I got to see and I remember how fortunate I was to have gone to the University of Miami to dive and to get a degree in business.

My Dad always told me it was about the journey and he was right all along. I was focused on other things and I wished I could have savored it just a bit more. I remember my good friend, Matt Scoggin, giving a speech to divers at the Junior Olympic Championships in Moultrie years ago and he told his story, the successes and failures. But what he focused on the most was the journey, the friends, the people and the experience of it all. Matt was right and so was my Dad and having gone through this journey and had a front row seat in the greatest era of diving that the world has ever seen, I can tell you that these are the things they spoke of:

· The journey in sport
· The process of getting better at something you love
· Building self-esteem
· Making lifetime friends and memories
· Traveling and seeing new places
· Learning about preparation, focus, setting goals, hard work, time management, performing under pressure and relying on oneself. Skills you will transfer to life after sports.
· Learning how to handle losing with grace and sportsmanship
· Learning that it's ok to mess up; that doing something incorrectly is often the best and quickest way to learn how to do it correctly

· Winning
· Losing
· A college scholarship
· Medals, trophies, awards and accolades

So for the young people in our sport today and for the parents and coaches trying to guide them, I can only share my experience and that is to enjoy the journey and the time you have in this great sport. Pressuring young athletes to focus on winning, get a college scholarship or follow any dream other than their own; is simply not the answer. The joy in all of this comes from doing something you love, working hard to see how good you can get at it and enjoying the people and the experiences along the way. The journey, the people, the lessons and everything along the way, is what you will carry with you forever. The wins and the losses will fade……the medals and trophies will find themselves in boxes, but hopefully you will be able to call some very special people; your friends. Enjoy the ride; hold on to the good stuff. It only comes around once, I assure you.

Please read these wonderful responses to Tim's story from Greg Louganis and Cynthia Potter

Tim O’Brien had a very unique seat to observe Diving during a very exciting time for US Diving. The powers of his observations are in the emotional journeys of some of the most decorated athletes of our sport. He shares so much of himself in having to share his Father and Family, unselfishly. What makes this a must read for anyone in competitive sport, is the honesty and truth of the realities of what others may view as victories. Gold medals aren’t going to keep you warm at night; they don’t give you the knowledge and skills to be a success for the rest of your life. What Tim so eloquently states is how it is all about the journey and not the destination, the people, the friends, family, laughter, tears, singing, dancing, lessons, all shared, if your lucky, and paying attention, with really wonderful people.

It took me back to when Dick Kimball asked me to keep an eye on his Son, Bruce, on my first International trip. Both Bruce and Tim were at times like my little Brothers, and at other times, competitors. I always had a love and respect for them and their unique situation of being coached by their Father’s. I must admit with shame, I lost touch with Bruce around the time of his DUI, and I may have been one of those who’s heart hung heavy with a bit of judgment in my heart at that ’84 Olympic Trials. Tim is right, that very well could have been me. Believe me; I know what it is like to have Diving as my sanctuary learning of my HIV status six months prior to the Olympic Games in ’88.

I feel blessed to consider the O’Brien Family my Family; no one has been more to me! Tim, you humble me in your grace of all the people you honor. I don’t know if you know how much you have taught me, and you continue to teach, Namaste. Thank you for such wisdom and most of all thank you for sharing.

Tim, your article is a great gift to anyone in the world of diving. You have captured the "spirit" and "essence" of what it means to love diving and those involved. I applaud you. Congratulations my friend.

Tim, Thank you!,Thank you! Thank you! I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your article. For someone like me, who far too often forgets what is really special about coaching diving, you truly helped put it back into perspective for me. Your article is as much for the coaches as it is for the divers. You are very missed on the pool deck.

Thanks to everyone at divemeets.com for making the Tim OBrien article
available to divers, their parents, coaches, and fans. It was one of the
most heartwarming and moving articles I have ever read. This should be the
foundation of a book and/or movie as it has the power to inspire so many
more. Please pass along my gratitude to Tim as this will be my son's
homework to read this evening - and somehow I think he may read it more than
once without any prompting as this is a rare insight into the legends of the
sport. It comes at just the right moment to help a young diver find his way
and keep his perspective. With much appreciation. Lori

Dr. Lori Mosca
Professor of Medicine
Columbia University Medical Center
NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital